if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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