She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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