did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.