turn off your phone and go to bed
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.