Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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