I am puke
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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