he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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