You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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