i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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