I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
