Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize