never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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