The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
