can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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