Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
