I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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