My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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