I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
