3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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