It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We're too hungover to prance.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself