I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.