and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.