don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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