Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
