well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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