Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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