I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
