I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
