When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
