I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
