I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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