mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize