Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.