I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize