The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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