Do you still have your period?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
