Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They took my balls.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
