There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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