we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.