so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!