Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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she peed on how many people?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole