Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?