So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
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