Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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