Im at strip club and am horny
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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