So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize