Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize