are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
