They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.