Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?