Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again