problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dating After Heartbreak
Man, jail baloney is awful.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to