the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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