he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize