areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
...so i touched it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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