I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize