we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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