I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
