I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
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What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
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Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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