HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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