I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
